Changes

    It's been a little over three weeks since I made one of the biggest changes in my life.  After seventeen years of vocational ministry, and pastoring for the last nine, I stepped away from the weekly responsibility of teaching and organizing a Sunday gathering.  I almost said that I stepped away from pastoring, but that wouldn't be true.   My heart is still to shepherd, to lead people to the abundant life that is found in Christ. Actually, I find myself doing more counseling and ministry than ever these days.  Only now it happens primarily in my little Truck Top and Accessory shop next to my new friend Max's garage and behind my old friend Eddie's Tire Center.  That's right. I have never owned a truck, but I now cannot help but notice every truck I pass, not to mention how each one is accessorized. "Does it have a top? Steps? Bug shield?  A couple of months ago I could not have pointed out a nerf bar, brush guard, bed cap or tonneau cover.  I actually had a customer come in one day and say, "Yeah, I need a FlowMaster cutoff and and Y-Pipe put on."  I called my distributor and said, "Hey, I've got this guy who's looking for a FlowMaster cutoff."  The salesman on the other end of phone did a search and said, "I can't find a FlowMaster Cutoff.  Could there be another name for it?"  I turned to the customer and asked.  He said, "No. I have a FlowMaster.   I need it cut off and a y-pipe put on."  "Ohhhhhh. Yeah, you might want to check with Max next door."  Wow.       

    You're probably wondering how I found myself selling truck accessories.  For  a while, Michelle and I had been seeking to relieve the church of the burden of supporting our family financially.  She has been working to build a business called HelloNorthGeorgia.com, an online directory/marketing tool for small businesses in North Georgia.  Anything Michelle puts her mind to, she does well, and the business is off to a good start.  Unfortunately it sometimes consumes her time and thoughts and distracts her from her greatest passions: God, family and His children.   Not to mention the fact that she works 30 hours a week for no immediate financial benefit.  It take a while for a business to produce income, we've found. That pursuit is not something she wants to do long term, so we had been praying about what I might do to provide for the family.  Jason Raughton, a friend in Dalton that had been to all of my men's retreats over the past few years, had been in the truck accessory business with his dad for decades. He had been saying for over a year that he would be interested in helping someone set up a shop in Ellijay, since no one sold camper tops in our area.  I  communicated his offer to several people without incomes, but there were no takers.  Finally, back in July, Michelle and I decided we would give it a shot.  I hung a sign and began fixing up a bay on Main Street to serve as an accessory showroom. 

     Meanwhile, back at a the church, my heart had taken quite a pounding over the past couple of years.  Back in 2007, I remember being very satisfied with what our church had become: a safe place for broken-hearted people to be restored to who God created them to be.  We weren't super organized with lots of programs, but I felt what we had was real, fruitful and good.  Sometime during that year, however, the waves of criticism began to roll and take their toll.  I felt like I was being hit from ever angle, leaving me reeling with little confidence in the direction I was leading the church.  

     What I thought was an act of surrender was, in retrospect, an act of resignation.  I welcomed five new elders onto our leadership team, creating a team of eight men that represented the spectrum of backgrounds, perspectives, and agendas.  I declared 2008 to be the year of new beginnings, assuming that the product of this team would be what we were all hungry for.  It turned out to be the year of banging our heads against a wall.  I ended the year, stepping away for a couple of months for a time of rest and restoration.  

     I'm leaving out a lot of drama, but upon my return two of the elders announced they were leaving to start a new work.  They were joined by our youth minister and our band.  I was left leading what was, in effect, a large "small group" of 50 to 75 people gathering each week.  I call it a large "small group" because I wanted us to experience more of a family gathering each Sunday than a worship service.  We sang, and I still taught, but we made lots of room for sharing of testimonies and praying for one another.  It wasn't uncommon for us to be together for three hours on a Sunday morning, a difficult experience for those with young children.  So, even though the time felt very fruitful, and for many was the best experience of church body life they had ever encountered, I just felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into a survival mentality, doing the bare minimum each week just to get by.  

     I had thought moving us into a new building that we could rent and use 24/7 would open up our hearts and minds to the ministry opportunities we were longing to offer the community.  However, still in the midst of renovating the building, I got painfully honest with the remaining elders.  I told them I was still struggling with all the voices going on in my head and felt unable to discern that of my Father.  

     That conversation set things in motion, and within two weeks I found myself announcing my decision to step away from my role as pastor.  On the Sunday that followed, the body, led by two tired elders, made the decision to disband.Two weeks later I stumbled into the four-day men's retreat I was leading, trusting that if I stood up, Father would show up.  He did, and at the end of that event, I felt my heart coming alive again.

    So here I am, waking up early each day, asking Father to tell me what's on His heart and to awaken mine.  I'm stirred to focus on men in our area and the ones we have been ministering to through our Band of Brothers Weekends.  I want to take people who we've been walking with further in what is now called "The Ultimate Journey" offered by Christ-Life Ministries in Des Moines.  I want to take my teenage sons and their friends and teammates through an initiation into manhood journey.  And, I want my wife to feel loved, prioritized and relieved of the pressure she feels to provide for our family.

    I think this truck accessory business has the potential to provide for us financially as well as open up doors for ministry in the community.  I've loved being out in the market place each day, surprising people with a taste of their Father's love.  However, I don't have a lot of confidence that it will be a viable source of support until the Spring.  As we watch the bills    piling up, we find ourselves asking Father, "Do we put the house on the market?  We know you will provide, but what would you have us to do?" As a result of that prayer, I am working on establishing a new ministry umbrella with a non-profit status for all that we do.  Meanwhile, over the next six months, we will gratefully welcome support from all who have confidence that we are about our Father's business and that our family and ministry is a good Kingdom investment.  We are also asking friends to join us as intercessors, knowing that as we advance there will be great opposition by the enemy.  Give me a call (706-273-4025), email me (cartecaytrucktops@gmail.com), or write us (275 Stegall Road, Ellijay, GA 30536,) and we'll share more how you can partner with us.  Blessings. - Tim

 

Sunk in Him

     Several years ago, when we only had two toddlers, I took my wife on what was the most extravagant of all our vacations.  It was actually what I would call a make-up trip to Grand Cayman.  I had been blessed to go to the island two years before when the owner of the camp we worked for took the staff there as a Christmas present/staff retreat.  Michelle, who had been on staff there much longer than I,  had just given birth to  our son, Jacob,  and could not go.  She was great about it, but as you can imagine it was a source of a little humorous, yet real sense of injustice.  

      So, a couple of years later on this "make-up" trip, having rented out the kids to their grandparents to pay for it,  we stayed in the same condo we had stayed in as a staff.  We ate at some of the same restaurants I had been to before.  And we used the same dive shop for a couple days of some of the best scuba diving in the world.  Since neither of us was certified, we went through what they called a "resort course."  The course consisted of no more than thirty minutes of instruction with a flip chart and a few minutes of testing the equipment in a pool, and then it was out to sea with a dive master who assured us he would be staying very close and would be taking us to depths of no more than 50 feet.

      At one of our stops, we dove down to explore a sunken ship.  The thrill of the adventure was tainted slightly when we learned that the vessel had been sunk on purpose, but it was still pretty cool.  What struck me was how much the ship had become part of the seascape.  It was covered in barnacles and inside were huge schools of small, shiny, silver fish.  There had to be millions of them that called the boat 'home.'  At one point, with growing over-confidence, I decided to go through a small hole in the ship to explore another room.  When only my head had gone through, I felt a tug on my fin and turned to see the dive master wagging his finger at me and beckoning me to come back out into the open areas.  He didn't want me to become a permanent part of the sea as well.

    Before Jesus departed to join His Father in heaven, he left final words including what we have come to call, "The Great Commission:"  "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." (Matthew 28:19) The word 'baptize' means to immerse or dip.  That ship we explored had been intentionally baptized into the Caribbean. Once the ship became part of the sea, covered in barnacles and filled with sea life, it's baptism was complete.  

     I'm not really sure why the Greek word 'eis,' translated 'in' in the phrase, "in the name of" was translated...'in.'  When you go to the Greek lexicons, the predominant translation of that word is 'into.' What's the difference?  I think it's huge.  When we think about Christ's instruction to baptize, using the word 'in' makes it sound like, "Here's what I want you to say as you do it." However, when you use the word 'into,' it points to the substance into which we are being immersed.

    Jesus went to the cross and shed His blood so that we could be covered, forgiven, and reconciled to His Father and ours.  He instructed those who had been his apprentices over the previous three years, who had been learning to do what He did, to go and make more apprentices.  And he told them to baptize or immerse those new disciples into the name...the person...the identity...the ministry...the power...the life of the Trinity.

     Just as that rusty old, barnacle covered ship was no longer what it once was, those of us who are baptized or immersed into God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, are no longer the same.  We are new creatures.  We are saints.  We are the righteousness of God.  We have a new mission.  A new purpose.  A new...identity.  

    We are invited to be baptized.  The act of publicly professing our faith in Christ through the act of baptism is wonderful, but only when it follows baptism spiritually.  Like a sunken ship is filled with the sea into which it is immersed, we can be filled with the very Holy Spirit of God. Yes, we are invited to be immersed into the Life of God, a life of constant awareness of your Father's overwhelming and unfailing, faithful provision, and His mission to return all of creation to what He intended.

His life is everything our hearts are longing for.

You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. Galatians 3:26-27

Great to see you, Jesus!

     Growing up , my perception of God was that He loved me, but that he was distant and that he hoped I wouldn't embarrass him.  So, I kept my sins as private as possible and worked hard on managing them.  Whether or not I felt like a "good Christian" was  based on how I was doing with that effort, how faithful I was attending and participating in church activities, how I was doing with having a consistent "'quiet time" with God, and how much I  was sharing my faith, which amounted to occasionally telling someone how they could become a Christian...like me.   Over the years, several verses of Scripture haunted me.  One is found in Matthew 7:21-23 where Jesus says, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?  Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'  Reading that made me ask the question, "Do I really know Jesus? Am I really one with Him or am I just going through the motions of religious practices?  

    Another one is John 14:12, when Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." Gosh Jesus, you raised people from the dead!  How could that be?  Then there are those verses at the very end of Mark's gospel where Jesus says, "And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." I certainly wasn't seeing all those signs and wonders following my life, and to be honest, I kept my distance from anyone who said they saw them following theirs!  

     One day something clicked, and I don't know exactly when or how it came about, but something became clear regarding what a disciple really is.  Jesus took on apprentices and taught them to do what he did. He even sent them out  on a test run before he went to the cross, giving them his authority.  Remember what they said when they got back. "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name!"   Jesus had a process for making disciples.  He lived with the people and said this:  Watch me. Now you!  And it wasn't just,  "Here's how you tell other people how to get saved."  That was part of it, but there was more.  It was, "Here's how to establish my kingdom on earth.  Here's how to return things to the way I intended them to be when I created the earth."  Brokenhearted people were made whole.  Captives were set free.  Blind people could see again.  Lame people walked.  Dead people were raised.  People burdened with shame were unburdened and walked with eyes full of life and love and passion!  When Jesus talked about his upcoming death and resurrection in John 12:24, he said this:  "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."  Jesus died, was resurrected and sent his Holy Spirit in order to multiply himself and his presence over all the earth.

   So at some point in my story over the last several years, I embraced as truth, that Jesus wanted to re-present himself through me and all Christians in a very literal way, and I decided to reject as false, the teaching that the Holy Spirit doesn't still work as He did in Acts.  I began to ask Father to allow me to see and experience Christ embodied in a very powerful and literal way.   Something has begun.  In the past two weeks, I've seen Jesus, with my own eyes or the eyes of my brothers and sisters in Christ, deliver a young man from shame from sexual abuse he received as a boy and from the way he acted out because of that abuse.  I've seen Jesus heal a man from a torn rotator cuff.  I've seen him cast out foul spirits that were tormenting a woman.  I've seen him set people free from bondage to pornography.  I've seen Jesus express "words of knowledge," (things that would not be known if God hadn't revealed it) that showed people that their Father saw the pain and bitterness they had carried for so long, and then saw Him pray for them, touch them, and release them from it.  Last week as I prayed about how Father wanted me to lead our gathering this past weekend, I had no peace when I went to prepare a message or pick out songs.  All I sensed Him saying was, "Watch this."  So I started out our gathering with these words, "I find myself in new, blessed and exciting territory today. I have no plans!  No message.  No songs picked out.  Just some questions to you in whom Christ's Spirit dwells:  What is it that is on your heart to say?  What is it that is on your heart to do?  What is it that you want and is on your heart to ask for?  Then I sat the microphone down.  We then had two hours of testimony, praying for one another, listening to God and speaking truth into one another's lives.  We watched Jesus heal, encourage, hug, laugh, eat, even fish! Jesus is so good! He is alive!  And He is here! And He lives through us!

   Several weeks ago, we celebrated the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  I just wanted to share with you that Jesus is more alive than I ever realized.  He is able to minister to every need we have.  His mission is to reconcile us to our loving Heavenly Father, to restore our broken hearts to our true identity as a children of God, to renew our minds with life-giving, freedom bringing truth, and then to release us to re-present Him to the world. And He is willing to express himself through us, no matter who we are and no matter what we have done.  We are loved! We are forgiven!  We are His!

Jesus, My Lord and 'Mastew'

The more I read the word of God, the more this message becomes clear.  Father is saying, "I know who I created you to be and I love you!  You can trust Me!  I want to share my Life with you and bless you!"

Over the past few days and weeks, I've been having not what I would call "Aha!" moments, but more like "Duh!" moments.  I had another one this morning.  I've long been drawn to the verse found in 2 Corinthians 3:17 that ends in "...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."  I tested my 7-year old son, Jonathan, this morning, and asked him, "Jonathan, what does the word 'Lord' mean?"   "Mastew," he said, still having a little trouble with his 'r's.  "That's it, buddy!" I said.

So, before today, this phrase, "where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom," has been a reminder that, since the Spirit lives in me, my reality is, I'm FREE from the law that says I must sin, whether I walk in that freedom or not.  And, in our corporate worship times, I've prayed, "Lord, let us experience the presence of your Spirit, so that we can be free in our worship."  But this morning, the big "Duh!" moment came when I realized that where the Spirit of the Lord- my Master, the one I either choose to follow and obey or choose to go my own way and disobey - wherever my Lord and Master is, wherever he is going, wherever he is inviting me to go....there is Freedom.  So the Spirit has set me free to follow Him into more and more and more Freedom.  Do I want more Freedom? Oh yes!

Freedom is to experience release from anything that constrains me from being the person God created me to be, and release to do that which God created me to do...for His glory.  I'm realizing freedom and surrender to Christ's Lordship are always connected.  My Lord Jesus can always be trusted to lead me by the Spirit into Freedom, Abundant Life, and Kingdom Fruit. And the good news is FREEDOM IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE!  "Yes, Lord.  You are good!"

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever -increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

2 Corinthians 3:17-18

Swamped No More

Last night, my son Jonathan and I took my burgundy '92 Camry in to town to pick up a movie.  "Nim's Island,"  by the way...but I didn't get to watch it with the family.  I was too busy trying to get my old girl, we've affectionately named "Plumb Nelly," out of a swamp!

On my way home with Jonathan, I decided to take quick detour and check something out.  We had scheduled an opportunity for men to gather around a campfire this morning, near the lake next to the school where our church meets.  I wanted to make sure the gate was open that allows access to the lake.  It was, but I decided to take it one step further and go check out what the parking situation would be if we encouraged the men to drive all the way down.  "Daddy, why are we going down there," Jonathan asked, wanting to go home and watch his movie.  

"Daddy wants to go see something...real quick.  This will just take a minute."

In retrospect, I heard the little voice that said, "This isn't really a good idea," but I ignored it and drove on down the gravel road.  It was dark already, and I didn't really take notice that the gravel runs out once you get down by the lake.  I decided I'd better turn around and knew a place up ahead where there was some room.  After another five seconds of driving, I noticed the huge rains we had experienced the past week had left some standing water on the road ahead of us.  Since I'm such a wise and cautious man, I decided I'd better stop and back up.  I mean, I AM IN A CAMRY!  As soon as I applied the brakes, the tires locked up and the car slid quickly to the right, and into a swamp I really hadn't noticed before.

"Whoa, Jonathan.  We're in trouble here,"  I stated very calmly, trying not to react to the fact we were taking on water fast.

"I'm scared, Daddy."

"We're alright," I said quickly unbuckling him. "We need to get out, though."  The car was tipped over, close to a 45-degree angle with the front right tire submerged, and the back left tire about a foot-and-a-half off the ground.  We got out and began what could have been THE WALK OF SHAME back up to the highway.  I called my wife and said, "Hey, we're going to need to be picked up.  I was checking out some things for the campfire in the morning and got my car stuck."

"And why did you feel you needed to do that tonight, after dark?"

"Cause men are coming in the morning...while it's still dark,"  I answered, feeling like I was in a scene from 'Everybody Loves Raymond.'

"Isn't Larry  in charge?" bringing an obvious reference to my tendency, as a pastor, to be a little involved in everything.

"Honey,"  I said abruptly, wanting to end the conversation as quickly as possible, "I shouldn't have gone down there."

Michelle was actually handling things very well, not saying, what I knew she was thinking. I had given her quite a few opportunities, over the years, to grow in the way she responds when I do something really stupid.  It was the second opportunity just this week!

Back at home and standing with me in the closet as I changed my clothes into something more suitable for tromping in the mud, Michelle said, "It's okay, Tim.  You're not defined by your mistakes."

"That's a good thing," I said with a chuckle, "cause otherwise I would feel like an idiot!"

So the next three hours were spent, hanging out with my brother, Larry Alonso, giving up on pulling the car out ourselves, having lots of laughs and hearing towing adventures from Max Frady of Clark's Towing Service  ("We Don't Want an Arm and a Leg... We Just Want Your Tows."  Max and I had spent some quality time together on several occasions over the past 13 years.)

I'm very thankful for a wife and friends who remind me that my identity is not based on my performance.  I'm not an idiot.  The reality is that I'm a good man, with lots of wisdom, who sometimes makes unwise and idiotic decisions.  And I'm thankful that I have a Savior and a Father who remind me that my identity is not based on how well I'm doing at the moment in my battle against sin and my flesh.  The reality is that I'm no longer known as a sinner, but as an image bearer of God, His son, and a saint who sometimes sins.

Man, is that good news!

"I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.  I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.  I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe...." (Ephesians 1:16-19)

Allow Me to Introduce My Son!

      Last week, I was reading Isaiah 42, a suggested passage as we approach Advent. It was in the neighborhood of 700 years before the birth of Christ that Isaiah recorded the words God gave him, yet they clearly point to the One God would send to save the world.  As I read the passage several times over, an image began to come to mind.  I began to picture our Heavenly Father proudly standing over His Son, speaking about Him as He introduced Him to the world.  Read it like that, and see if it comes alive for you in a new way like it did for me.  Maybe hear Him speak it with a whisper so as not to  startle Jesus:

"Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him and he will bring justice to the nations.He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets.  A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice; he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his law the islands will put their hope."

     Then the direction of the conversation changes.  Isaiah reminds who is speaking, then records God shifting from talking about His Son to speaking directly to Him:

 "This is what God the LORD says-- he who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it (Again, allow yourself to hear Father speaking gently):

 "I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and  to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. "I am the LORD; that  is my name! I will not give my glory to another or my praise to idols. See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you."

     Next, filled with the Spirit, Isaiah breaks out in celebration worship!  Now  things get a little loud!

"Sing to the LORD a new song, his praise from the ends of the earth, you who go down to the sea, and all that is in it, you islands, and all who live in them. Let the desert and its towns raise their voices; let the settlements where Kedar lives rejoice. Let the people of Sela sing for joy; let them shout from the mountaintops.  Let them give glory to the LORD and proclaim his praise in the islands. The LORD will march out like a mighty man, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies."  (Isaiah 42:1-13)

   As we celebrate the arrival of God's Son to the earth, may we too respond with worship, adoration, and gratitude, for having our eyes opened, for being set free, and for being brought out of the darkness into the light.  The LORD  has triumphed over our enemies!  Sing to the LORD a new song!

Don't Despair

A couple of weeks ago I was praying next to my bed, noticed it was 10:45 close to the time I needed to head to an appointment, and I looked up at my book shelf of Bible study resources. I started to feel some anxiety about returning from my sabbatical to preach again. I love to preach, but the preparation feels overwhelming to me sometimes. I agonize in prayer over what to bring, then, after all these years, I still don't have any systematic process of preparing (I like to think I'm just too spiritual for that :) ) I said, "Father, I love to hear people teach well-researched, insightful messages. Is it in me to do that?" I felt like I heard Him say, "Yeah, Tim. I've put that in you."  

Later in the day, I retrieved a voicemail from my brother in Christ, Mike Berger. He shared that he had been praying for me earlier in the day and that God had given him a word for me. He said God had been putting it on his heart over an over again all day until he finally called. Then he gave it to me verbatim: "Don't despair. I've given you the voice of angels that you may preach the word of God, with fire in your eyes, that they may know that I am God." He said that he didn't know if it would mean anything to me, but that's what he heard. After hearing the message, I thought, "That's cool." Then I listened to it again, and thought, "Wait a minute." I listened to it a third time and thought, "Whoa!" I thought back to the morning, what I was praying, and realized I really had been despairing. I called Mike to thank him for being obedient to deliver the message. He explained how he wasn't used to doing that and how much he agonized over whether or not to call. The enemy was telling him how stupid he was to think that he was hearing from God. I told him what I had been praying that morning and I asked him what time he had heard the word. He said, "I noticed the time. It was 10:45."  

Whoa. That word has really ministered to me in the last couple of weeks when I've found myself feeling inadequate compared to other ministers I've been listening to.

How awesome is it to be loved by a Father who wants so much for us to know him and wants us to know that He really is speaking to us.