Don't Despair

A couple of weeks ago I was praying next to my bed, noticed it was 10:45 close to the time I needed to head to an appointment, and I looked up at my book shelf of Bible study resources. I started to feel some anxiety about returning from my sabbatical to preach again. I love to preach, but the preparation feels overwhelming to me sometimes. I agonize in prayer over what to bring, then, after all these years, I still don't have any systematic process of preparing (I like to think I'm just too spiritual for that :) ) I said, "Father, I love to hear people teach well-researched, insightful messages. Is it in me to do that?" I felt like I heard Him say, "Yeah, Tim. I've put that in you."  

Later in the day, I retrieved a voicemail from my brother in Christ, Mike Berger. He shared that he had been praying for me earlier in the day and that God had given him a word for me. He said God had been putting it on his heart over an over again all day until he finally called. Then he gave it to me verbatim: "Don't despair. I've given you the voice of angels that you may preach the word of God, with fire in your eyes, that they may know that I am God." He said that he didn't know if it would mean anything to me, but that's what he heard. After hearing the message, I thought, "That's cool." Then I listened to it again, and thought, "Wait a minute." I listened to it a third time and thought, "Whoa!" I thought back to the morning, what I was praying, and realized I really had been despairing. I called Mike to thank him for being obedient to deliver the message. He explained how he wasn't used to doing that and how much he agonized over whether or not to call. The enemy was telling him how stupid he was to think that he was hearing from God. I told him what I had been praying that morning and I asked him what time he had heard the word. He said, "I noticed the time. It was 10:45."  

Whoa. That word has really ministered to me in the last couple of weeks when I've found myself feeling inadequate compared to other ministers I've been listening to.

How awesome is it to be loved by a Father who wants so much for us to know him and wants us to know that He really is speaking to us.