On my way home with Jonathan, I decided to take quick detour and check something out. We had scheduled an opportunity for men to gather around a campfire this morning, near the lake next to the school where our church meets. I wanted to make sure the gate was open that allows access to the lake. It was, but I decided to take it one step further and go check out what the parking situation would be if we encouraged the men to drive all the way down. "Daddy, why are we going down there," Jonathan asked, wanting to go home and watch his movie.
"Daddy wants to go see something...real quick. This will just take a minute."
In retrospect, I heard the little voice that said, "This isn't really a good idea," but I ignored it and drove on down the gravel road. It was dark already, and I didn't really take notice that the gravel runs out once you get down by the lake. I decided I'd better turn around and knew a place up ahead where there was some room. After another five seconds of driving, I noticed the huge rains we had experienced the past week had left some standing water on the road ahead of us. Since I'm such a wise and cautious man, I decided I'd better stop and back up. I mean, I AM IN A CAMRY! As soon as I applied the brakes, the tires locked up and the car slid quickly to the right, and into a swamp I really hadn't noticed before.
"Whoa, Jonathan. We're in trouble here," I stated very calmly, trying not to react to the fact we were taking on water fast.
"I'm scared, Daddy."
"We're alright," I said quickly unbuckling him. "We need to get out, though." The car was tipped over, close to a 45-degree angle with the front right tire submerged, and the back left tire about a foot-and-a-half off the ground. We got out and began what could have been THE WALK OF SHAME back up to the highway. I called my wife and said, "Hey, we're going to need to be picked up. I was checking out some things for the campfire in the morning and got my car stuck."
"And why did you feel you needed to do that tonight, after dark?"
"Cause men are coming in the morning...while it's still dark," I answered, feeling like I was in a scene from 'Everybody Loves Raymond.'
"Isn't Larry in charge?" bringing an obvious reference to my tendency, as a pastor, to be a little involved in everything.
"Honey," I said abruptly, wanting to end the conversation as quickly as possible, "I shouldn't have gone down there."
Michelle was actually handling things very well, not saying, what I knew she was thinking. I had given her quite a few opportunities, over the years, to grow in the way she responds when I do something really stupid. It was the second opportunity just this week!
Back at home and standing with me in the closet as I changed my clothes into something more suitable for tromping in the mud, Michelle said, "It's okay, Tim. You're not defined by your mistakes."
"That's a good thing," I said with a chuckle, "cause otherwise I would feel like an idiot!"
So the next three hours were spent, hanging out with my brother, Larry Alonso, giving up on pulling the car out ourselves, having lots of laughs and hearing towing adventures from Max Frady of Clark's Towing Service ("We Don't Want an Arm and a Leg... We Just Want Your Tows." Max and I had spent some quality time together on several occasions over the past 13 years.)
I'm very thankful for a wife and friends who remind me that my identity is not based on my performance. I'm not an idiot. The reality is that I'm a good man, with lots of wisdom, who sometimes makes unwise and idiotic decisions. And I'm thankful that I have a Savior and a Father who remind me that my identity is not based on how well I'm doing at the moment in my battle against sin and my flesh. The reality is that I'm no longer known as a sinner, but as an image bearer of God, His son, and a saint who sometimes sins.
Man, is that good news!
"I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe...." (Ephesians 1:16-19)
