Going To Church Is Just Impossible!

 I love the church, but I don't go to church. I believe the church is the hope of the world, but I can't step foot in a church. I want everyone in the whole world to join the church, but I will never be a "church attender" or a "church goer." On the other hand, I've never "skipped church," nor will I ever "miss church." Confused yet? These are strange words from a pastor, of all people.  Now try this one on for size: You don't go to church either.  You never have and you never will.  It's impossible...and I'll tell you why.  Church is not something you go to, attend, miss or skip.  Church is something you are.

  

A few weeks ago, during Spring Break, I took my family camping, and we left town at about 11:15 on Sunday morning.  The next week I was back with the people of CrossPoint and I told them what I had done.  Then I gave them a test to "see if they were paying attention."  I said, "Ok. True or False? Last Sunday, your pastor skipped church and went camping."   "True!" most yelled.  "False!" a few proclaimed.  I said, "False!  How can I skip something that I am?  That's like saying I skipped Harrison! The truth is," I added, "last week, the church went camping.  Last week the church went to Disney World.  Last week some of the church gathered to worship.  And some of the church slept in!"

I am on a journey to see church differently than I did growing up.  Rather than seeing it as a sacred building or an organization,  I'm beginning to see the church as the body of Christ, a living, breathing, re-presentation of the love, mission, power, grace, ministry and person of Jesus.  I understand He is not here in a one-person-bodily form any more.  He ascended to be with our Father after promising something even better than him walking the earth: his Holy Spirit, multiplying him in every way, in and through as many people as would believe and receive.

I have not always recognized the importance of how we use the word 'church,'  but words affect how we think.  How we think affects how we live.  If you and I think of church as something we go to or attend, I'm afraid we may fall prey to a clever scheme of the enemy.  Satan knows that if we put more value on taking our place in the pew on Sunday mornings than living out the body-life of Christ on a daily basis, he will render us ineffective to change the world.  Ever had this thought on a Sunday afternoon? "Man, that was long and boring today, but at least I can feel good about doing what I was supposed to do!"  Yeah, me too.  I'm concerned that we've been had.

Last year about this time, I stopped by a large church (excuse me, a church's gathering place) in a nearby city to invite the pastor and the men of his congregation to a men's retreat.  I explained that the weekend would begin on Thursday evening and would end on Sunday at noon, that it would help men grow in hearing the voice of God and that we would be leading men into freedom from the lies they had come to believe about themselves that hold them captive. I voiced our desire to help men discover what God had specifically put in them to bring Him glory and that would allow them to experience being 'fully alive.'  I conveyed we would be sharing how to recognize the schemes of the enemy and would teach men how to fight in spiritual warfare.  I also told him that men, in past weekends, had left the retreat with a deeper intimacy with God that  led to a greater love for their wives and children.  The pastor put down his notepad and said, "I've got a real problem with an organization that would take men away from their church on Sunday." 

 

I attempted to explain how it would benefit "his church" if men had an experience of  waking up and coming alive with a passion for God, but it was as if he couldn't hear what I was saying. "It's just kind of pet peeve of mine," he said, "when people miss church to attend some Christian event.  Now, I let the kids miss when they went to camp, but I didn't like it!"

When I left his office,  I thanked the secretary, and walked away grieving.  I confess feeling, angry, bewildered, and judgmental.  But even as I write this, I have to check my pride and look at my own life.  I've spent many years of ministry trying to get people to come to someTHING rather than inviting people or leading people to experience the daily life of God.

 

In Matthew 18:20, Jesus says, "Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them."  Is he saying that is the only time he is present? Of course not. He is always with us. He's describing people coming together for the purpose of re-presenting him to the world in a given situation. He's describing how his "body," his "church,"  will experience him doing the kinds of things through them that we see him doing while he walked the earth.  Wherever Jesus walked, he brought and expanded the kingdom of God, that is the realm where God's will is done.  The sick were healed, demons were cast out, and most importantly, people experienced the transforming love of God, realizing the truth of how good and loving and grace-full God is. I think we've been duped into thinking going "to church" is the point.  I'm becoming convinced that this deception has severely dampened the joy of living out Christ's life as his body and has limited how much the world experiences Christ through us.

  

What if we began to think of what we do on Sundays or Wednesdays , not as church, but as a gathering of the body, the church,  to celebrate the goodness of God?  What if we saw our "services" as times for the body to worship, to be encouraged, to be reminded of the reality of who we are as new creatures in Christ, and to be equipped for works of service as described in Ephesians 4:12?  What would happen if we each had a few fellow Christ-presenters that loved one another so deeply, who would bear with one another through hurtful experiences,  and who shared life so intimately that we never felt alone in anything we faced?  I really believe that the lost would begin to see us living a life that they would give anything to experience, and that we would begin to experience a joy and abundant life that is beyond our wildest dreams.

Guns, Robbers, and Reminders

On Mondays, I try to ease into the week with some extended time alone with God.  It does my heart good to find a new place to hike or explore, although I don't make that happen enough.  But yesterday, I remembered hearing about a waterfall that wasn't all that well known and not too hard to find.  I couldn't find it.  Not without some help anyway.  So I called my friend, Jim, to remind me where it was.  

I wasn't too far from it.  However, while I stood beside my car talking to Jim, I saw a car make its way down the dirt road and pass me.  I acknowledged the man and woman in the car with a nod and continued my conversation.  After moving on down the road towards the landmark Jim had just given me, I was disappointed to see the couple had stopped there as well and had headed up towards the waterfall.  

A little upset that my "time alone with God" was in jeopardy, I decided to walk on down the trail to see if the spot was big enough to share.  I hadn't gone 50 feet when I heard gunshots, five of them, several seconds apart.  I actually considered continuing on, assuming they were just target shooting, but thought better of it fairly quickly.  I called Jim again as I approached my car and gave my my guess-what-just-happened report.  While we were talking, I saw the woman coming out of the woods...alone.  She had her hand in her pocket and stopped as soon as she saw my car.  She had that  "deer in the headlights" look. 

Two went in. Gunshots. One came out. Hands in pockets. Suspicious look.  Yeeeahh. I had seen enough.  I memorized what was a handicap license plate and eased on down the road calling 911 as I drove.  Ten minutes later a couple of sheriff's cars joined me and let me lead them back to the scene.  The car was gone, so we walked towards the falls that I had yet to see.  I was prepared to find a body, but all we found were the .22 shell casings and evidence that the man was not a good Boy Scout.  (Any more details about that would be too much information.)  The deputies said they would run the tag and wished me a safe day.  After only a few minutes of exploring, I got a call from one of the deputies letting me know that they had run the tag and found that the car had indeed been stolen. And from a handicapped person.  Now that's low.

The experience gave a nice boost to my adventure.  I had done something helpful.  Made some wise decisions.  I was feeling pretty good about myself.  I got to a nice spot to read and journal my conversation with Jesus.  I told him I really wanted, like Paul, to experience the power of the Holy Spirit, the power of the resurrection, and what I felt like I heard in my heart was, "Then make it your life's pursuit."  I asked Him, "What do you see as my life's pursuit right now?"  "You're still in search of affirmation."  I knew he was right. I had even found it in the experience of the day.

 I've long known that in Christ I can now get all my affirmation from Father, that the words "This is my Son in whom I am well pleased," spoken over Jesus are, thanks to Him, now spoken over me:   I must admit that I am still not free from the desire to hear that I am coming through for my wife, my children, my church....

"Lord, how do I lay that down?"

"Consciously...and turn your attention to my life."

"I love your life," I said, reminiscing of times I've experienced Christ's heart and mind in a given situation, and seen the life-giving, freedom-bringing love and grace flow through me to another's heart.

Then as if continuing to answer my question,  I felt him prompting me to read John 8:12.  Jesus had expressed that he was the light of the world and that whoever followed him would never walk in darkness, but would have the light of life. But the Pharisees challenged him saying that since he was appearing as his own witness, his testimony was invalid.  As I read that I noticed a void of human affirmation.  Then Jesus answered them saying, "Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going."

There it is.  That's the secret to experiencing freedom from the constant need to be affirmed and validated by fellow humans.  I must know where I've come from and where I am going.  Just as Jesus was born of the Spirit, as a new creature who's born again, so am I.  And where I'm going is to live in the presence of my Father, reigning with Christ, forever.  Am I going to mess up between now and then? No doubt.  Am I going to miss a few opportunities to come through for my family and friends? Without question, more than a few.  But Jesus reminded me that I know where I've come from and I know where I am going.  My heart is for God and His is for me.  I'm ok. I'm not a loser.  That question is settled.

Lord, Jesus, remind me of that...tomorrow.

The Power of Remembering

I had a new experience last night...my first Passover Seder.  As a Gentile, I haven't turned down too many invitations to experience the special meal that commemorates God's delivery of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt.  However, in the last couple of years I've begun to see the value of following the Jewish calendar a little closer.  Then a member of our body invited me to his home to celebrate Passover with his family. He explained that he had been in fellowship with several Messianic Jewish congregations when he lived in New York, and the Passover Seder dinner had become a common part of their families celebration.

  

Fred Romano's testimony is quite dramatic.  As a drug-addicted hair stylist, Fred found himself cutting Billy Graham's hair. He had no idea who he was, but enjoyed the reaction of his co-workers when Rev. Graham left the salon.  That night he checked out his work as he watched Graham's crusade on television. Hearing the gospel, he cried out to Jesus saying, "I don't know if you exist, but if you do, please come into my heart!"

Fred addressed our body Sunday morning, sharing his testimony and laying out how the Passover pointed to Christ. He told of how God sees the blood of Jesus when he looks at us, passing over us without judgment or condemnation for our sins. The congregation was invited back to experience the Seder meal in which each element is a reminder of certain aspects of the Israelites deliverance experience.

Although our version of the Seder meal pointed to Yeshua (Jesus' true Hebrew name) as the Passover Lamb and was slightly different than that celebrated by the Jews, two realities made the evening very special. First, knowing that Jews and Messianic Christians all over the world were walking through a similar experience yesterday connected us to a larger family.  But the greater impact came from realizing that for over 3500 years people have been following this tradition in order to obediently remember the goodness of God and His power to deliver his people from bondage.  Watching how my three sons followed along the Hagadah (the Seder readings),  and were connecting the dots with stories they had learned, made me realize how valuable these holidays and festivals have been all these generations for passing along the truths God desires us to remember.  He wants to be known by every generation, and He knows that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.

A little more transformation and renewal happens whenever we bring back to mind the love and faithfulness of our God.  I'm grateful for the chance to worship, to celebrate and learn with my family, and to be included in a God-ordained reminder of the way he continues to set slaves free.

Thanks, Fred.

Not Lost in Translation

"parakalw de umas adelfoi dia tou onomatos tou kuriou hmwn ihsou cristou ina to auto leghte pantes kai mh h en umin scismata hte de kathrtismenoi en tw autw noi kai en th auth gnwmh" 1 Corinthians 1:10 (Greek New Testament -Textus Receptus)

"obsecro autem vos fratres per nomen Domini nostri Iesu Christi ut id ipsum dicatis omnes et non sint in vobis scismata sitis autem perfecti in eodem sensu et in eadem sententia" 1 Corinthians 1:10 (Jerome's Latin Vulgate)

"Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and [that] there be no divisions among you; but [that] ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."  1 Corinthians 1:10 (King James Version)

"Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment." 1 Corinthians 1:10 (New King James Version)

"I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought." 1 Corinthians 1:10 (New International Version)

"Now, dear brothers and sisters, I appeal to you by the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ to stop arguing among yourselves. Let there be real harmony so there won't be divisions in the church. I plead with you to be of one mind, united in thought and purpose." 1 Corinthians 1:10 (New Living Translation)

"Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment."  1 Corinthians 1:10 (New American Standard)

I appeal to you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree and that there be no dissensions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. 1 Corinthians 1:10 (Revised Standard Version)

Les suplico, hermanos, en el nombre de nuestro Señor Jesucristo, que todos vivan en armonía y que no haya divisiones entre ustedes, sino que se mantengan unidos en un mismo pensar y en un mismo propósito. 1 Corintios 1:10 (Nueva  Version Internacional)

No matter how you translate it, the good news of Jesus Christ is that He has covered the debt for our sins and made us one with Father again by His sacrificial death on the cross.  He has risen again, and we are raised with Him to walk in a new life, His life!  He has ascended to the right hand of the Father, having taken back the authority Adam handed to Satan to rule the world, and we are seated there with Him!  Now He wants to use the flesh of all who would surrender their bodies and lives to Him to exercise that authority, expanding the realm, the kingdom, where His will is done on earth as it is in Heaven.  Is there something that you have let divide you from others in whom Jesus dwells that you would be willing to lay down for the sake of unity and strength in our shared mission?  

Time is short and much is at stake.  

We're in This Together

There was a time in my life when I looked at addicts, not with compassion, but with pity  and with judgment. Then I realized I was one....

     

We are all addicts. Maybe our drug of choice is socially acceptable.  Maybe it brings death slower than some drug.  Maybe it's just easier to hide.  But truth be told, we are all in need of being set free.

     

Here is the truth about us.  We are all born into a fallen world.  We enter into life with all the potential of every uniquely created, image-bearer of God.  We are dearly loved by our creator.  He delights in us, wants to be one with us, and stands ready to give us life and everything we need.  But how many of us hear that when we are growing up?  We all, in one way or another, hear the message, "You are not good enough. Something is wrong with you." The message is delivered through parents, coaches, and friends,  through words spoken, or words not spoken,  like "I love you" or "I'm proud of you."   The message comes through abuse or  through neglect and abandonment. And regardless of how we hear it, we respond to that message in one of two ways: with despair (I will never be good enough, so I'll just spend my life trying to numb myself to the pain that comes with that hole in my heart), or with drive (I will prove to myself and everyone else that I am good enough!).  Whatever gives relief to the pain or fills the emptiness even for a moment, becomes addictive.

Here's my personal list,  just off the top of my head, of what I've looked to for comfort, relief, and escape over the years:  Approval/people pleasing and new relationships with people who think I'm a "great guy;" Food even when I'm not hungry (especially sweets); Pornography, Productivity, Feeling useful/Feeling needed; Television; Exercise and being in shape (I'm officially completely free of that one!); and even Religion.  Feeling "right" can be addictive.

And you?  Is it gossip (having something interesting to offer)?  Is it shopping?  Is it the adrenaline rush that comes from some extreme sport or a new business venture?  Is it "just a little more money?" Is it power? The question is not whether or not we are addicted. The question is not whether or not we too are brokenhearted and in need of healing and being set free.  The question is what are we looking to, besides God, to fill us, comfort us, and relieve the pain of our broken hearts?

When Jesus first came on to the scene and began his public ministry, the first thing He did was open a scroll and read from Isaiah 61, declaring Himself as the fulfillment of this prophecy: "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn and to provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  He will call them oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor."

We are all brokenhearted, and we have all turned to something besides the healing Christ offers to escape the pain.   I would sum up the ministry of Jesus like this: Trust me, and I will be good enough for you.  I will give you a new heart.  I will give you my track record.  I will give you my strength.  And the words spoken over Me by my Father can now be spoken over you: "This my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."  It's what we all want to hear.  It's what we all need to hear.  Our true Father loves us and is pleased with us...we're ok.

Jesus has made that possible and it is finished.

    

Whether we are addicted to meth, cocaine, alcohol, sex, gambling, tobacco or chocolate, we are all in this together.  We need the freedom that Jesus offers. We need to have every lie we've come to believe about ourselves replaced with the truth of what our Creator says about us. To know that we are ok, because he says we are ok;  because he has forgiven us for every way we have turned to something besides Him for life: because He made us okay by giving us His spirit to live in us.

"I See You!" - My Father's Delight

It is the deepest ache of our hearts to know we are the beloved child, to know that we are seen and that our Father delights in us....  

My dad has a great memory and has always repeated over and over again the things I said as little boy.  If I was swinging I'm told I would often say, "Look Daddy.  I'm going real up high!"  And before I would leap into his arms out of a tree, from up the stairs, from the side of the pool, never doubting he would catch me, I'm told I would say, "Ready! I jump!"  

I have my own memories of constantly wanting my dad to watch me do this or that.  "Watch me pop a wheelie, Daddy!"  "Watch me do a can-opener, Daddy! Tell me how big a splash I make!"  "Watch how hard I can throw this baseball, Daddy!"  The questions we're wanting answered when we do that is, "Do you see me?  Do you delight in me?  Am I special?  Am I worthy of your attention?"  And there's no greater blessing to a child than to hear a father say in a thousand ways, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!  I see you!  I love you!  I love to be with you!"

     

When you think about the face of your Heavenly Father looking at you, do you picture it lighting up  the sight of you?  Do you experience His pleasure, His delight in you?  I know that can be hard to imagine, especially if you didn't experience that from your earthly father.  We're also very aware of the parts of our live we imagine would be very displeasing to God, and we tend to focus on those things.  And not an insignificant reality is that we have all inherited a nature that doesn't trust God and assumes His heart towards us is bad.

 Have you ever noticed what was God's first item on His to-do list after creating us in His image?  Before there were any instructions or commandments, we are told in Genesis 1, "And God blessed them...."  Now what does that say about His heart towards us?  His greatest desire for us is that we experience His blessing.

To desire to bless someone carries with it some assumptions. It communicates, "I see you.  You stand out to me. You are special to me and have great worth in my eyes."  It is also a covenant word that goes beyond a contractual agreement to exchange goods or services.   It says, "I want you to have this blessing so much I am willing to die, to give my life, to make sure you experience it."  Are you beginning to realize the warmth of God's heart towards you?

A blessing could be defined as a "good word spoken over or into a person's life that carries with it a deep desire and commitment to ensure it comes to pass."  Listen to the blessing that God wanted his priests to speak over His people every day: "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26)

We have the desire for our daddy's face to light up when he sees us (shine upon us) and the desire for his attention and delight (for him to turn his face towards us) because our Heavenly Father created us to have that desire.  He wants us to experience that from our earthly fathers, and wants us as fathers to extend that blessing to our children.  But ultimately He wants us to experience, and be satisfied, to know His gaze is upon us and that He delights in us.

It has changed my life to realize the blessing spoken over Jesus at His baptism is now spoken over me: "This is my Son whom I love. In Him I am well pleased!"  Having exchanged my life for His life, and my track record for His track record, I can know the Father's delight in me is no less than that experienced by Jesus himself.  The result is the great peace He always wanted me to have.  And He died in order to ensure I received it.

So Daddy, thanks for making it easier for me to realize I am my Father's beloved son by consistently assuring me that I am yours, and for laying your life down for me in a thousand different ways.

Fish Life

I 've been blessed with the opportunity to visit the new Georgia Aquarium. It was an absolute worship experience; not so much what man had pulled off in the facility, which is phenomenal, but what God has done. Taking in the elephant fish, the leafy sea dragons, the garden eels, the anemones, the hammerhead sharks and the dancing beluga whales to only name a few, quite awestruck, I worshiped: “God, your creativity is endless!” And, as I stood beside (and under) a tank designed to give the effect of standing next to a coral reef, I looked up to see waves crashing above me, synchronized to hit at the music’s crescendo. I thought, “This is one amazing aquarium. What incredible attention to detail went into this!”

If I could pick the climax of the experience, it would have to be coming into what was like an amphitheater full of people looking through a wall of glass the size of an Imax screen, watching the sea life interact. There were 5 little black and orange fish swimming right in front of the mouth of a giant whale shark, almost as if they were taking the lead. I was informed they were actually riding the wave created by the shark. I watched a group of sting rays swimming together at the top, just below the water’s surface which appeared to glisten with sunlight. There were massive schools of fish that traveled in synchronized motion. I thought, “This is like sitting on the floor of the ocean!”

If you take on the perspective of a fish, I would imagine there are guppies and Japanese Fighting Fish swimming around in little box-sized aquariums all over the world thinking, “If I could only live in the Georgia Aquarium! Massive pumps circulate the water to keep it at the perfect temperature at all times. An amazing staff makes sure there is just the right amount of food for everybody. Lots of adoring fans stream past to gaze at your beauty, giving you all the attention you could ever want. And the tanks get cleaned every day! Ah, the Georgia Aquarium, the largest aquarium in the world. State of the art. Now that’s living!”

I wonder what it would take for a fish to realize the truth that the Georgia Aquarium with all its bells and whistles is still, in reality… a glorified fish bowl. It may look like the fish have got it made, but the truth of the matter is they are being held captive, swimming around in circles with no idea that they were actually created to be free, to live in and explore the endless depths of the ocean. They have what it takes to find their own food, and to multiply, to be a part of making the ocean even more beautiful than it already is.

For a fish to be delivered from such captivity would require it to hear the voice that whispers, “There…is…more,” stirring a desire deep within it to escape, to leave behind what it had always assumed was life. But even after that desire was awakened, it would quickly become apparent that to experience freedom would require it be rescued. He may somehow escape the confines of the tank, and begin to flop his way towards the ocean, but the effort would be pointless. The chasm is too great to cross.

The fish’s dilemma is descriptive of our reality. We are all born into captivity, and we are a part of culture that lends itself to setting our eyes on “bigger and better” in our search for life, in our quest for having “arrived.” Deceived, we willingly walk into bondage dressed up in “more.” Contaminated by sin, we cannot clean ourselves up enough to be allowed into the presence and life of God. To get free, we need a rescuer, one who would pick us up and walk us into new life.

If Jesus were a tropical fish, he may have looked like your basic grouper, but would have spoken strange words like, “I’ve swum to you so that you may have life, and have it abundantly. Turn away from this counterfeit existence, for the kingdom, the free ocean of your Creator is at hand. It’s available! Now!”

“How can I experience this life you describe?” an aquarium prisoner might ask.

“Release all of this stuff you thought brought life…and follow me,” he’d say.

Those with the prettiest fake coral reefs, and the best tasting fish food, or those who loved the attention of all the patrons would have the hardest time. But those who realized there was no satisfaction in all of that would say, “I’ll do anything you tell me to do.”

“OK,” this Grouper would say. “All you have to do is enter into me. You see, I was not born with the inability to breathe out of water, and I not only can swim in this aquarium, I can swim through the air. Some call it flying! Come into me I will take you out of the bondage of this aquarium. I will teach you the truth of who you are and all you were created to be. And together we will dive into the ocean you were made for. For you the chasm is insurmountable, but through me you will find it is right here! We will explore it together, for eternity! And I will show you how you can join me in my mission of healing other broken-hearted fish, and setting the aquarium captives free! Get ready for the ride of your life!”

As The Heart Stirs

Tuesday was a really big day for me. Michelle and I made the hour and a half trip to catch John Eldredge on his Walking with God speaking tour. My life took a big turn in 2003 when I took my wife up on her encouragement to go out to Colorado and experience one of Eldredge's Wild at Heart Boot Camps. It was there that, for the first time, I told God how I saw myself and asked Him to tell me how he saw me. What I heard him speak to my heart has changed everything, that is every time I remember and choose to believe Him.


After two more trips out west, one of the greatest experiences of my life was seeing the dream to provide boot camp opportunities in the Southeast come to fruition. However, after two amazing Spring events in 2006 and 2007, I felt myself being taken out. The camp we'd been using had such a high minimum number required for exclusive use that, even with a great turnout of men representing many states, we incurred two $20,000 shortfalls. God miraculously provided both times, but the second year it required the camp to wait three months. After we finally delivered the check, I told Father, "I just don't want to go through that again." What I heard was an immediate but gentle, "So your saying you're not willing to experience a little discomfort on behalf of the hearts of men?" Wince. "Ok, Father. That doesn't sound like your heart, does it. That doesn't compare to what Jesus suffered on behalf of my heart. I'm yours. If you want to use me to lead more boot camps, stir that fire in me again. I'll do it."


It was amazing to see how, within just days of this conversation, several emails came in about the fruit of what God did at our gatherings. However, two of my closest brothers who led the camps with me, went different directions, one to the mission field in India, one to start a new house church, and it left me feeling a bit alone. I haven't felt much of a fire for jumping back into the battle. However, in recent days, God's been drawing together a new band of brothers that have a great passion for rescuing the hearts of men, and who desire to provide another boot camp experience.


So back to the significance of yesterday.... In the morning while at the gym, I ran into a man who shared with me how his family continues to be radically transformed by what God did last April, I saw two other men at the Eldredge gathering that gave testimony of lives changed during the camps, and then I met a new brother who just finished his first attempt at a WAH retreat and who recommended a good venue for us. (That's a big deal since the other camp we used is not chomping at the bit to see us face the challenge of filling their camp again anytime soon).

All that to say, there was a lot of stirring going on yesterday. I was reminded of how much I've learned from John and his band of brothers and I left with a recommitment to make myself available again to lead men to take their questions to God and listen for Him to speak His words of life and healing into their hearts.

I don't know that I've ever felt more alive than in joining Jesus in his mission, specifically as carried out through Wild at Heart related events, felt more kinship than that experienced with the allies, or seen any efforts more fruitful for the Kingdom than that which he is doing through this focus on Jesus Christ's rescue and restoration of our hearts.

I feel like Tom Cruise's character in Top Gun, when, out of fear of not coming through for his comrades, he wouldn't join his wingman and engage in the battle. It's been a season of saying, "It's no good. It's no good." But I'm beginning to remember who I am, what God has put in me and what makes me come alive. It is with great relief that I declare, this "Maverick" is re-engaging in the fight!