As The Heart Stirs

Tuesday was a really big day for me. Michelle and I made the hour and a half trip to catch John Eldredge on his Walking with God speaking tour. My life took a big turn in 2003 when I took my wife up on her encouragement to go out to Colorado and experience one of Eldredge's Wild at Heart Boot Camps. It was there that, for the first time, I told God how I saw myself and asked Him to tell me how he saw me. What I heard him speak to my heart has changed everything, that is every time I remember and choose to believe Him.


After two more trips out west, one of the greatest experiences of my life was seeing the dream to provide boot camp opportunities in the Southeast come to fruition. However, after two amazing Spring events in 2006 and 2007, I felt myself being taken out. The camp we'd been using had such a high minimum number required for exclusive use that, even with a great turnout of men representing many states, we incurred two $20,000 shortfalls. God miraculously provided both times, but the second year it required the camp to wait three months. After we finally delivered the check, I told Father, "I just don't want to go through that again." What I heard was an immediate but gentle, "So your saying you're not willing to experience a little discomfort on behalf of the hearts of men?" Wince. "Ok, Father. That doesn't sound like your heart, does it. That doesn't compare to what Jesus suffered on behalf of my heart. I'm yours. If you want to use me to lead more boot camps, stir that fire in me again. I'll do it."


It was amazing to see how, within just days of this conversation, several emails came in about the fruit of what God did at our gatherings. However, two of my closest brothers who led the camps with me, went different directions, one to the mission field in India, one to start a new house church, and it left me feeling a bit alone. I haven't felt much of a fire for jumping back into the battle. However, in recent days, God's been drawing together a new band of brothers that have a great passion for rescuing the hearts of men, and who desire to provide another boot camp experience.


So back to the significance of yesterday.... In the morning while at the gym, I ran into a man who shared with me how his family continues to be radically transformed by what God did last April, I saw two other men at the Eldredge gathering that gave testimony of lives changed during the camps, and then I met a new brother who just finished his first attempt at a WAH retreat and who recommended a good venue for us. (That's a big deal since the other camp we used is not chomping at the bit to see us face the challenge of filling their camp again anytime soon).

All that to say, there was a lot of stirring going on yesterday. I was reminded of how much I've learned from John and his band of brothers and I left with a recommitment to make myself available again to lead men to take their questions to God and listen for Him to speak His words of life and healing into their hearts.

I don't know that I've ever felt more alive than in joining Jesus in his mission, specifically as carried out through Wild at Heart related events, felt more kinship than that experienced with the allies, or seen any efforts more fruitful for the Kingdom than that which he is doing through this focus on Jesus Christ's rescue and restoration of our hearts.

I feel like Tom Cruise's character in Top Gun, when, out of fear of not coming through for his comrades, he wouldn't join his wingman and engage in the battle. It's been a season of saying, "It's no good. It's no good." But I'm beginning to remember who I am, what God has put in me and what makes me come alive. It is with great relief that I declare, this "Maverick" is re-engaging in the fight!