It's been a little over three weeks since I made one of the biggest changes in my life. After seventeen years of vocational ministry, and pastoring for the last nine, I stepped away from the weekly responsibility of teaching and organizing a Sunday gathering. I almost said that I stepped away from pastoring, but that wouldn't be true. My heart is still to shepherd, to lead people to the abundant life that is found in Christ. Actually, I find myself doing more counseling and ministry than ever these days. Only now it happens primarily in my little Truck Top and Accessory shop next to my new friend Max's garage and behind my old friend Eddie's Tire Center. That's right. I have never owned a truck, but I now cannot help but notice every truck I pass, not to mention how each one is accessorized. "Does it have a top? Steps? Bug shield? A couple of months ago I could not have pointed out a nerf bar, brush guard, bed cap or tonneau cover. I actually had a customer come in one day and say, "Yeah, I need a FlowMaster cutoff and and Y-Pipe put on." I called my distributor and said, "Hey, I've got this guy who's looking for a FlowMaster cutoff." The salesman on the other end of phone did a search and said, "I can't find a FlowMaster Cutoff. Could there be another name for it?" I turned to the customer and asked. He said, "No. I have a FlowMaster. I need it cut off and a y-pipe put on." "Ohhhhhh. Yeah, you might want to check with Max next door." Wow.
You're probably wondering how I found myself selling truck accessories. For a while, Michelle and I had been seeking to relieve the church of the burden of supporting our family financially. She has been working to build a business called HelloNorthGeorgia.com, an online directory/marketing tool for small businesses in North Georgia. Anything Michelle puts her mind to, she does well, and the business is off to a good start. Unfortunately it sometimes consumes her time and thoughts and distracts her from her greatest passions: God, family and His children. Not to mention the fact that she works 30 hours a week for no immediate financial benefit. It take a while for a business to produce income, we've found. That pursuit is not something she wants to do long term, so we had been praying about what I might do to provide for the family. Jason Raughton, a friend in Dalton that had been to all of my men's retreats over the past few years, had been in the truck accessory business with his dad for decades. He had been saying for over a year that he would be interested in helping someone set up a shop in Ellijay, since no one sold camper tops in our area. I communicated his offer to several people without incomes, but there were no takers. Finally, back in July, Michelle and I decided we would give it a shot. I hung a sign and began fixing up a bay on Main Street to serve as an accessory showroom.
Meanwhile, back at a the church, my heart had taken quite a pounding over the past couple of years. Back in 2007, I remember being very satisfied with what our church had become: a safe place for broken-hearted people to be restored to who God created them to be. We weren't super organized with lots of programs, but I felt what we had was real, fruitful and good. Sometime during that year, however, the waves of criticism began to roll and take their toll. I felt like I was being hit from ever angle, leaving me reeling with little confidence in the direction I was leading the church.
What I thought was an act of surrender was, in retrospect, an act of resignation. I welcomed five new elders onto our leadership team, creating a team of eight men that represented the spectrum of backgrounds, perspectives, and agendas. I declared 2008 to be the year of new beginnings, assuming that the product of this team would be what we were all hungry for. It turned out to be the year of banging our heads against a wall. I ended the year, stepping away for a couple of months for a time of rest and restoration.
I'm leaving out a lot of drama, but upon my return two of the elders announced they were leaving to start a new work. They were joined by our youth minister and our band. I was left leading what was, in effect, a large "small group" of 50 to 75 people gathering each week. I call it a large "small group" because I wanted us to experience more of a family gathering each Sunday than a worship service. We sang, and I still taught, but we made lots of room for sharing of testimonies and praying for one another. It wasn't uncommon for us to be together for three hours on a Sunday morning, a difficult experience for those with young children. So, even though the time felt very fruitful, and for many was the best experience of church body life they had ever encountered, I just felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into a survival mentality, doing the bare minimum each week just to get by.
I had thought moving us into a new building that we could rent and use 24/7 would open up our hearts and minds to the ministry opportunities we were longing to offer the community. However, still in the midst of renovating the building, I got painfully honest with the remaining elders. I told them I was still struggling with all the voices going on in my head and felt unable to discern that of my Father.
That conversation set things in motion, and within two weeks I found myself announcing my decision to step away from my role as pastor. On the Sunday that followed, the body, led by two tired elders, made the decision to disband.Two weeks later I stumbled into the four-day men's retreat I was leading, trusting that if I stood up, Father would show up. He did, and at the end of that event, I felt my heart coming alive again.
So here I am, waking up early each day, asking Father to tell me what's on His heart and to awaken mine. I'm stirred to focus on men in our area and the ones we have been ministering to through our Band of Brothers Weekends. I want to take people who we've been walking with further in what is now called "The Ultimate Journey" offered by Christ-Life Ministries in Des Moines. I want to take my teenage sons and their friends and teammates through an initiation into manhood journey. And, I want my wife to feel loved, prioritized and relieved of the pressure she feels to provide for our family.
I think this truck accessory business has the potential to provide for us financially as well as open up doors for ministry in the community. I've loved being out in the market place each day, surprising people with a taste of their Father's love. However, I don't have a lot of confidence that it will be a viable source of support until the Spring. As we watch the bills piling up, we find ourselves asking Father, "Do we put the house on the market? We know you will provide, but what would you have us to do?" As a result of that prayer, I am working on establishing a new ministry umbrella with a non-profit status for all that we do. Meanwhile, over the next six months, we will gratefully welcome support from all who have confidence that we are about our Father's business and that our family and ministry is a good Kingdom investment. We are also asking friends to join us as intercessors, knowing that as we advance there will be great opposition by the enemy. Give me a call (706-273-4025), email me (cartecaytrucktops@gmail.com), or write us (275 Stegall Road, Ellijay, GA 30536,) and we'll share more how you can partner with us. Blessings. - Tim
