Guns, Robbers, and Reminders

On Mondays, I try to ease into the week with some extended time alone with God.  It does my heart good to find a new place to hike or explore, although I don't make that happen enough.  But yesterday, I remembered hearing about a waterfall that wasn't all that well known and not too hard to find.  I couldn't find it.  Not without some help anyway.  So I called my friend, Jim, to remind me where it was.  

I wasn't too far from it.  However, while I stood beside my car talking to Jim, I saw a car make its way down the dirt road and pass me.  I acknowledged the man and woman in the car with a nod and continued my conversation.  After moving on down the road towards the landmark Jim had just given me, I was disappointed to see the couple had stopped there as well and had headed up towards the waterfall.  

A little upset that my "time alone with God" was in jeopardy, I decided to walk on down the trail to see if the spot was big enough to share.  I hadn't gone 50 feet when I heard gunshots, five of them, several seconds apart.  I actually considered continuing on, assuming they were just target shooting, but thought better of it fairly quickly.  I called Jim again as I approached my car and gave my my guess-what-just-happened report.  While we were talking, I saw the woman coming out of the woods...alone.  She had her hand in her pocket and stopped as soon as she saw my car.  She had that  "deer in the headlights" look. 

Two went in. Gunshots. One came out. Hands in pockets. Suspicious look.  Yeeeahh. I had seen enough.  I memorized what was a handicap license plate and eased on down the road calling 911 as I drove.  Ten minutes later a couple of sheriff's cars joined me and let me lead them back to the scene.  The car was gone, so we walked towards the falls that I had yet to see.  I was prepared to find a body, but all we found were the .22 shell casings and evidence that the man was not a good Boy Scout.  (Any more details about that would be too much information.)  The deputies said they would run the tag and wished me a safe day.  After only a few minutes of exploring, I got a call from one of the deputies letting me know that they had run the tag and found that the car had indeed been stolen. And from a handicapped person.  Now that's low.

The experience gave a nice boost to my adventure.  I had done something helpful.  Made some wise decisions.  I was feeling pretty good about myself.  I got to a nice spot to read and journal my conversation with Jesus.  I told him I really wanted, like Paul, to experience the power of the Holy Spirit, the power of the resurrection, and what I felt like I heard in my heart was, "Then make it your life's pursuit."  I asked Him, "What do you see as my life's pursuit right now?"  "You're still in search of affirmation."  I knew he was right. I had even found it in the experience of the day.

 I've long known that in Christ I can now get all my affirmation from Father, that the words "This is my Son in whom I am well pleased," spoken over Jesus are, thanks to Him, now spoken over me:   I must admit that I am still not free from the desire to hear that I am coming through for my wife, my children, my church....

"Lord, how do I lay that down?"

"Consciously...and turn your attention to my life."

"I love your life," I said, reminiscing of times I've experienced Christ's heart and mind in a given situation, and seen the life-giving, freedom-bringing love and grace flow through me to another's heart.

Then as if continuing to answer my question,  I felt him prompting me to read John 8:12.  Jesus had expressed that he was the light of the world and that whoever followed him would never walk in darkness, but would have the light of life. But the Pharisees challenged him saying that since he was appearing as his own witness, his testimony was invalid.  As I read that I noticed a void of human affirmation.  Then Jesus answered them saying, "Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going."

There it is.  That's the secret to experiencing freedom from the constant need to be affirmed and validated by fellow humans.  I must know where I've come from and where I am going.  Just as Jesus was born of the Spirit, as a new creature who's born again, so am I.  And where I'm going is to live in the presence of my Father, reigning with Christ, forever.  Am I going to mess up between now and then? No doubt.  Am I going to miss a few opportunities to come through for my family and friends? Without question, more than a few.  But Jesus reminded me that I know where I've come from and I know where I am going.  My heart is for God and His is for me.  I'm ok. I'm not a loser.  That question is settled.

Lord, Jesus, remind me of that...tomorrow.